Relationship difficulties

I help men and women individually to think deeply about themselves within their relationships. When difficulties arise we usually have a part to play. We think together about how your experiences continue to affect you, and how you seem to be getting in your own way. We think about attachment styles, defence systems and repeating patterns. We are very curious about your relationships in your family and why you've chosen your partner. Our goal is to help you live more consciously. To have more freedom & more peacefulness in your life.

Trauma: something we fear we may not survive.

This definition explains why we push the unbearable feelings down into our body, and build defences to stop us feeling.

But we're driven to heal ourselves. So without even knowing it, we 'go looking' for situations that will activate these repressed feelings. This drives the repeating patterns in our relationships.

Then we slowly begin to see that our self-created protection system is actually self destructive and dysfunctional. What once protected us now holds us back. Our body starts to get tired of communicating through symptoms and addictions.

The core goal of trauma therapy is to help people to upgrade their protection systems. We can't change our past but we can change how we hold ourselves back. To do that work, we have to go on a courageous journey together into your inner world. This takes time and usually needs open-ended therapy.

Infertility & Trauma

There is a growing clinical understanding that adverse events in childhood including neglect, abuse and family difficulties can impact fertility. The mechanisms are still being researched. So I focus on what women with unexplained infertility have internalised (come to believe from others) about their body, anything to do with "Mother," and their own self-worth.

This is a complex knot that takes time and a strong, trusting relationship to untangle. The 'walls' we've built in order not to feel painful emotions are often threatened when we can't get pregnant. Many women head for the IVF clinic, as a rational solution to deeply repressed anxieties.

I work with women who are struggling to conceive with no physical explanation (medically unexplained infertility). Our work is to to build a stronger sense of you, whether to cope with motherhood, or to make different choices.